‘I saw nothing!’ – My sorry tale at a Judy Hall Crystal Workshop
Me too. I saw nothing!
Sometimes clients ask me how to connect with the other realms. Some of them have been doing all sorts of practice but still, nothing.
I’m willing to share what I know but where to begin? There are different kind of senses, and there are so many different ways of practising. I suspect that some of the seekers have already done much searches and practice and if I tell them what they already know, they might get more frustrated.
I gave the subject some thoughts, hoping to find a simple one-size-fit-all solution to no avail. Instead, what came to my mind was when I attended Judy Hall’s Crystal and Past Life workshop, during which I reached the pinnacle of my frustration from seeing nothing.
Sure-Win tickets to the Unknown
When I first learnt Sekhem, I knew that my teacher and her other students could see the other realms and they could connect with the Divine to access information. It didn’t bother me at all because I was new.
I did make a wish to have all these abilities and I became more impatient with myself each day. I also thought that I was a fraud because I couldn’t access information like my teacher and I couldn’t help my practice subjects in the same way. I started feeling there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
Somehow, I thought it was a good idea to learn about crystals. I did some searches and found a workshop by Judy Hall at The College of Psychic Studies in London.
Judy Hall is an esteemed teacher, researcher and author on various metaphysical subjects, and she is known internationally as the author of The Crystal Bible series. The College of Psychic Studies is like Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Central London. I thought the combination of these two would be my Sure-Win ticket to seeing everything there is to see.
I had no idea what the workshop was about. The description said that Judy Hall would guide the participants to various past civilisations through the help of crystals. What came to mind was Doraemon (Japanese comic book character) and his time machine and that these Psychic People must have some advanced technology that they kept in secrets.
Crystals and Past Lives workshop by Judy Hall
I was deeply insecure as I stepped into the College of Psychic Studies and I decided to put on a confident façade. I was full of self-doubt and self-importance for no apparent reason. Why I felt I should know everything about a subject that I knew nothing about, I do not know.
The ‘I do know something’ façade I put on made what could have been an exciting event seemed daunting. As I headed over to the room where the workshop was held, I overheard some fellow participants chatting away about some metaphysical subjects and my insecurity grew. I relaxed a bit when I saw a crystal stall being set up at one corner of the room. I know shops and I know them well.
I introduced myself to the young man sitting next to me. I asked him where he was from. He said he was British. I asked again, about where his parents or grandparents came from. He said he was from England and no where else and he didn’t find the answer to my question interesting, when there were so many interesting things worth discussing. I wanted to say that all those possible places that his family came from were interesting but I let it drop. I wondered why he rejected his root so much. I had no problem with where I was from. Or so I thought.
Judy gave us an introduction for the day and helped us with grounding and protection by the use of essence and a visualization exercise. We were each given a handout regarding the crystals/stones that we would use and the civilizations that we were going to visit.
The rundown of the day was: visiting a civilization with Judy’s guidance while holding a crystal – sharing the experience in small groups – sharing with the whole group (about 30 participants) – short break – starting all over again with another civilization and another crystal. There were 4 civilizations in total for this workshop.
The Death of a Preseli Blue Stone
The first civilization for the day was Ancient Briton. A tray of Preseli Blue Stones was passed around so we could all choose one. Most were small like a tumbled crystal and there were a few large stones. Judy said they all worked well regardless of the size. I chose a large one that sits on my palm nicely, just in case.
Judy let us find a comfortable spot for the journey. A few people got out of their chairs and sat or even lied down on the floor. I looked at the yoga mats with longing but I was determined to stay on my chair. I was terrible at sitting on a chair. I was a flight attendant so I saw how people could sit comfortably whereas I would start having shoulder and back pain and jumpy legs when I stayed still on a chair for longer than a few minutes. I decided to stay on the chair so as not to show my weakness. I was weird.
I forgot how Judy guided us back in time. What I remember is that I was very uncomfortable sitting on the chair. I became more uncomfortable when Judy wasn’t saying anything. I thought that was it, I was a failure. I had no idea what was going on. I opened my eyes to check from time to time and everyone looked relaxed. What did I miss? How could I be so dumb?
After the ‘journey’, or for me, the endless frustration, we were in small groups and everyone shared what they saw. A girl said she saw herself as a man in a cape and she knew she was someone powerful in the wizardry sort of way. I was in awe as she told us what else she knew about herself as this man. After a while, Judy asked a few people to share what they experienced. I felt totally lost. Everyone was in the room the whole time. I had opened my eyes to check. How did they have possibly gone anywhere? In their imaginations?
I did imagine something. I felt vibration from the Preseli Blue Stone traveling up my arm. It was slight and it lasted only for a while and when it stopped, it was as if it died. Seeing how everyone openly talked about their imagination, I mustered up some courage and told Judy when she came to collect the stone. She said it was possible that the stone needed charging, since it was used by others in her other workshops. She put the Preseli Blue Stone on top of a chalk stone which does the job of charging it nicely. I felt a bit better because something weird did happen even though I saw nothing. I was also relieved that the stone didn’t die on me that I decided to buy it and took it home with me. Judy gave me the chalk stone so that the Preseli Blue Stone would never run out of battery again.
The second civilization we visited or attempted to visit was Lemuria, by using Lemurian Seed. Lemurian Seeds look just like clear quartz crystals and they were coded by the Lemurians so that people can learn about their civilization through these crystals.
I had never heard about Lemuria then but I nodded my head intelligently when Judy gave us an introduction. Perhaps because I’m directionally challenged in real life, I was totally lost again and couldn’t find my way to Lemuria like the others had. What fascinated me was that some participants saw the same or similar things, for example, they experienced being able to breathe underwater as a Lemurian. Judy pointed out that they couldn’t have made up the same information.
So they didn’t imagine what they saw. Or did they? How would I know? I saw nothing.
My imagination started running at full speed, ‘Either I’m blind or dumb or… Ha! It’s a conspiracy! These people made up this whole plot! the prestige venue and the famous teacher are all fake and any moment now, they are going say “Got you!” Or, maybe they team up to drive me crazy and they are going to send me to mental asylum!’
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to speak up. I raised my hand when Judy asked if anyone else wanted to share.
‘I didn’t go anywhere. I saw nothing. I don’t know how.’
The Baby of the Group
Being truthful is a wonderful thing. I did feel a bit embarrassed but it was that or hiding in a corner getting more frustrated. If Judy and everyone there were going to laugh at my uselessness, so be it. They couldn’t have been more horrible than in my imagination.
I forgot what Judy said exactly. What I remember was that she smiled. She was so nice and kind and encouraging. She didn’t ridicule me like I did to myself. The reason I forgot what she said was that my truthful comment opened a floodgate of support. I could feel people wanting to jump out from their seats to offer me help, or something. Love?
And they did. We had another break shortly after this little exchange. Other participants kept appearing by my side, sharing tips that worked for them or people they knew. Some told me how they were like me and couldn’t see anything and what helped them. When I was preparing a cup of coffee at the pantry, I felt a hand on my right arm. I looked to my right and a petite woman had one arm on me and another hand holding a pendulum. She asked, not sure to me or to the pendulum, ‘Have you or have you not gained anything at this workshop?’
‘I felt the stone and crystal were charging me but maybe I imagined it.’ I decided to answer her because I didn’t know one could get answers from a pendulum then.
She said she didn’t see anything that day so far either and that it wasn’t always necessary to receive information. She said perhaps I was at those civilizations before and therefore I didn’t need to see anything in order to learn. She said I did gain something anyway and not to worry about not seeing.
But I want to see things even if I had lived in those civilizations!
What I learnt that day was that I was a baby in this metaphysical world trying to run before I could sit. Being pompous didn’t serve me while being myself did, even if that meant I needed to admit to my incompetence. And my incompetence wasn’t about not able to see, but my impatience and the underlying fear and resentment that I wasn’t good enough.
It was the most uncomfortable segment of the workshop for me. Judy had pointed out that amongst everyone there, I was the only with my legs off the floor. At the beginning of the workshop, she had emphasized the importance of grounding. I was going to say I grounded with my whole bottom but didn’t because even if that was my intention, it didn’t work. Therefore, I placed my feet on the floor this time, closed my eyes and wished for good luck.
I didn’t know what and where Atlantis was and wasn’t keen to find out. There was nothing for me to see anyway. A few minutes into the guided visualization, all I wanted was for this segment to end because my legs were restless and my back sore. The Atlantasite I was holding might have charged me with its energy but it could have been my imagination again.
Judy looked at me as if to see if I got lucky this time. I shook my head ‘no’.
More people came and offered me tips or kind words. It was very nice actually. It was wonderful to be the baby of the group.
More participants had migrated to the floor and I finally sat down on the floor too. Forcing myself to sit on a chair was as silly as pretending to know it all. Soon after Judy started guiding us to enter the Ancient Egyptian world, I gave up sitting and lied down on my side. I let out a silent happy sigh. Comfortable at last!
Again, I saw nothing but I felt more energy from the golden Nubian Temple Quartz I was holding. Perhaps I noticed this more now that I was comfortable. I had this odd feeling that all day, the crystals and stones were conspiring to balance me for something.
All of a sudden, I felt as if there was a huge column of golden light came down from above to fill me up from head to toes. I didn’t actually see anything. I kind of knew. The interesting thing was that the column of golden light came from above but it was horizontal because I was lying down. Before I had a chance to think I must have imagined it all, I felt this sense of joy I had never experienced before. So I let it be, feeling joyous and loved in this column of golden light which I didn’t see. And I smiled.
I was delighted to finally have something to share with the small group of people I was with. When it came to the whole group sharing part, Judy saw me smiling and she smiled too, ‘Go on. Tell us.’
And I did.
Judy said she tuned into me during the last segment to see if she could find information for me. She said it would be helpful for me to look eastwards, to Japan sort of direction. My inner skeptic said, ‘Of course you would say that because of my face but I’m Chinese and not Japanese!’ I nodded my head in acknowledgement while silently told myself off for being mean to someone who was being kind to me.
Judy continued and said that Chrysanthemum Stone would be a good place for me to start and asked if I knew of it. I knew exactly what she was talking about although I didn’t think she knew it herself – before the workshop, I ordered a few crystals and minerals from a reputable online shop. I was going to buy a Chrysanthemum Stone because it was so pretty but decided not to when I saw it was from China. Turned out I rejected my root too. No wonder this vivid memory of an Egyptian Dance master teacher (I went to his workshop) kept popping up in my head during those times. He was explaining that he put in a few non-Egyptian dance steps because the rhythm called for it and that he wasn’t choreographing a fusion piece. He said with passion, ‘I always remember my root!’
Since then, I did connect with all sorts of root. I didn’t end up getting a Chrysanthemum stone because I thought Judy’s message to me was about embracing my root. I have, however, become almost one by chance.
Evidence of me connecting with my root:
Almost Chrysanthemum Stone
Several years later, before we decided to settle in Crete, I met my godmother. She said she would like to baptize me on one condition – that I would take her grandmother’s name as my baptismal name. Her grandmother was sad that no one in the family was named after her. My godmother promised that she would find a woman to take her name. Although where I’m from, we don’t have the custom of passing down names, I do understand the importance of keeping one’s promise and this was the reason I accepted her offer when we only met briefly. I’m fond of the Greek version of Stephanie and luckily I was allowed to have more than one baptismal names.
Hence, I was baptized Stefania Chrysanthe. By the way, my Chinese last name means stone. Therefore, I’m now Stefania Chrysanthe Stone. Not a mum though. Even when PhotoMan likes to think I’m our dog’s mummy.
Serendipity? My inner skeptic around the subject of coincidence vs. destiny bothers me a lot less nowadays and so does my ‘need-to-know’ trait. I only thought of this happy accident between these two unrelated events when I was drafting this article. I can try and figure out the deeper meaning. Or I can let the mystery hang in the air. I choose the later because it is far more enticing and less likely to drive me mad from overthinking.
Meeting the Crystal Dragons: the eye of the Dragon reveals all
Back to the London years. About a year after the Crystals and Past Lives workshop, I participated in another of Judy’s workshop with the above title. With the help of crystal dragons, we connected with dragons of each of the elements. This time I saw things, I felt things, I heard things and I knew things and I had incredible experiences throughout the workshop.
The participant next to me didn’t and she told Judy about it, just like what I did in the previous workshop. During their exchange, The Spirits told me to tell her that ‘She is perfect’. When Judy was inviting another participant to speak, I turned to my neighbour and said, ‘They said to tell you that you are perfect.’
She cried, like, full on crying with tears streaming down her cheeks. I was surprised and totally lost about what was happening and tried to tell her to not cry.
‘What did you do now?’ Judy noticed and asked me.
‘They told me to tell her that she is perfect and I did and she cried.’
Judy asked my neighbour, ‘Do you accept that?’ My neighbour shook her head violently.
I didn’t know you are supposed to ask the person if they accept the message. I also didn’t care about any rules. I leaned over and wrote the message on her handout.
You are perfect!
‘You don’t have to accept it now, but keep it! Don’t throw it away!’
That’s it. That’s what I really want to say to you, my neighbour who’s reading this, that you are perfect.