Hello! I’m Stephanie.

Family Constellation with Ming Lian

Posted by on Aug 20, 2019 in Methods

A surprise gift came – or what you might consider to be coincidence or synchronicity – in the form of an online Family Constellation session with Ming Lian, just two days after I heard about this method. The following was how the surprise gift materialized.

Day 1

A practitioner in the Quantum Healing Forum kindly informed us of a free course on Udemy on Family Constellation by Dr. Bertold Ulsamer. Curiosity and my love of freebies lead me signed up for the course right away. The course consists of an 1.5 hours lecture with a guided meditation in the end. It was precise and informative and left me wanting a session and I will tell you the reason later. Silently, I asked to be guided to the right facilitator for me.

Day 2

Trying to look for a facilitator with no luck. I didn’t know online private session was available at that point. I live on a Greek island and the nearest facilitators are all in Athens with Greek websites. Hm…… Meanwhile I noticed that there was a study group regarding healing the family line in the Quantum Healing Forum in a few hours’ time. Thanks! And guess what – Ming Lian entered the meeting by introducing herself as a facilitator for Family Constellation (amongst other things). After I expressed my interest in Family Constellation, she messaged me and offered me an online private session for the next day. Yes, please!

Day 3

Joy, tears, more tears, a lot more tears, joy again and inner peace after removing sadness, burden and responsibilities that were never mine.

The Orders

Family Constellation facilitators understand certain important ‘orders’ and assist their clients to deal with them accordingly. Within a family, there is an appropriate place for everyone. For example, as Dr. Ulsamer mentioned, ‘parents are “big”, children are “small”.’ There could be disharmony or imbalance if these orders are not followed by family members. Some people might experience emotional issues or even illnesses.

Having a Chinese background, this concept is not new for me because the ranking system as I like to call it is greatly valued and reinforced by senior members of the families. Up to this point, I thought I knew it all and had it all sorted! (Not really… knowing a concept doesn’t mean one manages to apply it both consciously and subconsciously.) But then I got a chill all over when Dr. Ulsamer explained this other order:

“Everybody in a family belongs to the family – nobody should be excluded.”

My grandparents who never existed

Mentally I went over all my family members and sort of expanded the circle to include uncles, aunties and cousins and thought all was good, everyone was there but something just didn’t seem right… Oh! I have a set of grandparents who never existed!

The only thing I knew about my grandparents of my father’s side was that they died long ago when my father’s younger sister was 5 years old. My father doesn’t remember his age, nor his parents’ names. As far as I remember, my grandparents or the lack of them were only mentioned a handful of times and my father always said he didn’t remember anything. Last year, I persisted with him to hopefully find out more and he said, ‘There is nothing to remember.’ I wonder if he really doesn’t recall anything or if he prefers not to talk about it.

The Representatives

After telling Ming the reason I wanted a Family Constellation (non-existent grandparents) and answering her questions about my family, she began the session by inviting my ancestors to assist us. She also helped me achieve a relaxed state and I greatly appreciated it because I got a bit too excited from trying something new. She then asked me to adjust my laptop camera in order that she could see where I was going to place some crystals.

Before the session, Ming asked me to prepare around 10 pieces of crystals for the session and said that we would be using the crystals as representatives of my family members. I thought she was going to ask me to lay out all the pieces at once as if we were playing a game of chess but no, it was done slowly and respectfully. Each time, she would ask me to focus on the box and choose the piece that would represent one member of my family, or myself. She would then ask me to place the piece on ‘The Field’ and ask me what this family member or myself was thinking.

I was very surprised by how easily the information came, sometimes as images or spoken words, sometimes I just knew and sometimes I felt emotions that I knew weren’t mine. I even had a chance to look at myself from a third person’s perspective and realized something about myself that I didn’t know before. I do meditate often and apply all my healing tools for myself but Ming’s presence and guidance definitely added much clarity and insight for me and I’m so pleased that my wish for finding the right facilitator for me has come true.

Ming asked me to move the crystals whenever I felt they wanted to move. Sounds funny, right? But it did happen! I would either see the crystals moving in my head, or I felt the crystals wanted to be located somewhere else. A few times Ming suggested I moved the crystals. I complied because I felt good about her instruction and every time when this happened, it just felt ‘right’ and at the end I felt so much love for my family and I felt loved.

family constellation

The crystals that represented my family members at the end of the session

‘The Knowing Field’

The space where the family representatives are placed is referred to as ‘The Knowing Field’. My understanding is that the facilitator and the client’s intention of achieving harmony for the family allows helpful information and knowledge to come forth.

For a Family Constellation Group Session, the client would choose other participants as the family representatives and they would tap into the energy of the real family members and receive information in ways similar to what I described above.

Ming said that the first time she attended a group session, she was in shock because some people would start crying and a lot of things went on as if she was at a theatre. I think this is the reason that some people think it is a dangerous method. I don’t think there is any danger though because only information that is important for the intention would come forth and only for the duration of the session. The facilitators all had a minimum of two years’ training and are well prepared to provide a safe space for the clients and all participants. Our ancestors are always there to protect and guide us as well.

A glimpse of my Family Constellation session with Ming Lian

I cannot tell you everything about this session because firstly, you will be bored! It only lasted about an hour but it provided me with a lot of information and insight, much more than could be conveyed in words because sometimes my whole being or parts of my body received healing or knowingness that bypassed my brain. Secondly, the session involves my family and it would be wrong of me to talk about the parts that involve them. Let me give you some highlights so you can have a glimpse of what a Family Constellation session is like.

  • I saw myself being confused about what to do with my parents, if I have done enough to help them and what else I could do for them. I realized that it wasn’t my place to sort out problems for anyone and that by being as joyful as I could be, I bring joy to my parents and that is enough. The rest, it is all taken care of by my grandparents from the other side of the veil.
  • The moment Ming asked me to choose a crystal to represent my grandfather, two crystals appeared in my mind and they were side by side in the corner of the box where I kept all the crystals. Shortly after I took out the white one that represented my grandfather, I asked Ming if I could bring out the pink one that represented my grandmother because I felt they wanted to be together. Ming gave me the go ahead and I placed the pink one snuggly beside the white one, just like how they were in the box. Ming said gently, ‘See how your grandfather and your grandmother are always together.’ I observed for a while and this calmness washed over me – it doesn’t matter what exactly had happened to them because they are always together and all is good.
  • Ming guided me to observe the white crystal to see what information I could obtain regarding my grandfather. I broke into uncontrollable joyful laughter and I announced to Ming, ‘My grandfather is a really nice guy!’ I don’t know how I knew but I’ve never been so sure of anything else in my whole life. I laughed some more while my whole body was buzzing with joy.
  • At the end of the session, Ming asked me to place my hand on top of all the crystal representatives. I felt this subtle loving energy traveled up my arm onto my whole body, as if I was being cleansed from head to toes and the session was completed leaving me feeling loved. Ming asked me to take a photo of the crystal formation and I can feel the love as I look at the photo even now.
Learn and be patient!

Ming said that this session was only a start and she suggested that we would let the energy settle and have our next session in 3 to 4 weeks’ time. Oh! I want my next session now! Mr. Ulsamer’s advice came to mind. He said that instead of wanting another session right away, wait and learn from the one session first because there is always a lot there to learn from. And he was right.

I imagine that every Family Constellation session is different, based on the clients’ background, the focus for the session as well as the facilitator’s style. My intention in sharing with you about my own session in details is so that you have an idea about what it is good for and that it is safe. For the most favourable outcome, it’s always best to leave your expectation of how your session would unfold and let the facilitator guides you. Your facilitator always has your best interest at hearts.

 

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