What Happened When You Were Fourteen?

The following article was first published at QuantumHealers.com on the 22nd of February, 2018. 

Anna* came to me on the recommendation of her friend who found my assistance helpful. She said the only thing she wanted changing was the way she treated her boyfriend. She said he was lovely, but she kept pushing him away and repeatedly broke up with him although this wasn’t exactly what she wanted. She had apologized each time and her boyfriend gladly continued the relationship but she feared that he might not be always this patient.

What did they fight about? She found out that he was in touch with his ex-girlfriend whom she believed still had feelings for him. She trusted her boyfriend but on some occasions, she would use this as an excuse to start a fight and said many things she wished she never had. This usually happened at the end of a lovely day spent together.

“Did you have bad relationships with men?” I fished a bit. Some clients thought I analyse them but no, what I do is to help them unlock the answers within themselves with some gentle questionings. On some cases, I use the help of Kinesiology to pinpoint the root causes. Although I know this method to be accurate, I prefer when my clients come up with the answers themselves so they can connect with their inner knowing more and more.

No, that wasn’t it. Anna said everything had gone well in all areas of her life except what she had come for. Her body language told me otherwise – she sat as far away from me as possible on the sofa suite with her body turning away and her hair shielding her face.

I wondered how long it would take for us to come up with an intention for the session. I was going to conduct a Sekhem treatment with Anna and although we could have gone ahead asking the energy to go wherever it was needed in her body, it is much more effective when clients have realizations of what is really happening and perhaps what changes they could be consciously making. Anna seemed to just want to get on with the actual treatment but I felt there was something that we needed her to talk about. I was running out of ideas when Jesus whispered in my ears. It is very common for Jesus and other spirit guides and angels to come and assist us.

“Ask her what happened when she was fourteen.”

Okay… this could have been awkward. Honestly I’m not the clearest channel and I’m often afraid to get things wrong. But I was running out of time so I asked the question.

“Nothing. Nothing happened at all.”

I turned to where I imagined Jesus was to tell him I had messed it all up but someone pushed my head back gently and I looked right at Anna’s shaking body. She had completely turned away from me and was suppressing her sobs. Finally she told me –

When Anna was fourteen, her mother got a job in Dubai and moved there. Her father was a gambler and was mostly absent. Anna, who was the eldest child, became the mother of the family. At the beginning she was quite pleased for some perks from the generous allowance her mother sent home, like getting a phone before her peers. Soon this novelty wore off and she found herself trapped with household chores and necessities after school. She finished school with good grades and got professional certificates but due to lack of good job offers in her country, she had been working overseas and not able to have jobs that she earned her certificates for. She also shared with me how she was mistreated by her former employers due to her migrant status.

I heard stories of people who had to start working early in life and never had a childhood but having a young woman such as Anna telling me her story brought this kind of modern day misery alive. I put my feelings aside and carried on with some more questions.

It was logical to take the route of the absent parents but no. What came out of my mouth was ‘What do you do for joy, for relaxation?’

Anna seemed taken aback by this question. After a moment she said, ‘I look at my phone.’ She snooped her boyfriend’s Facebook and when she were on angry mood, she bombarded him with angry text messages.

‘What else? What about before you left your country?’ Nothing. Her life had been filled with work both at home, at work and school. There was never time for fun.

We explored a bit on what she enjoyed doing (writing) and what she would like to do more (fitness class). We set the intention for the treatment to assist her to find joy and relaxation as well as to understand what joy and relaxation were. Anna didn’t seem to know these concepts.

Anna came back to me twice more to work on related matters before my husband and I left London. I can not yet report a ‘They live together forever and after’ happy ending but what I’ve been seeing on her Facebook is so much better and real – She often shares her thoughts and insights and she expresses herself beautifully both with words and colourful photographs. She has been enjoying the great English countryside. Her family that she misses so much had come to visit. I’m not sure what happens with her relationship with her lovely chap but what is more important is that her life is now full of vibrant colours.

What do you do for joy and relaxation? Do you use your social medias in a constructive and creative way? How much time do you spend on your phone daily and what else could you be doing if internet doesn’t exist in today’s world?

*Anna – not real name

**Photo by Konstantinos Anastasakis

Finding joy away from the phone!